


Connor Anderson v. Forbidden Snacks (ft. Hank & Nines)

by ilovemiax



Series: Hank Anderson & His Android Sons (ft. Emotions) [3]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Comedy, Connor & Upgraded Connor | RK900 are Siblings, Gen, Hank Anderson is a Good Dad, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-02-15 19:22:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18675904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilovemiax/pseuds/ilovemiax
Summary: Exactly what the title says.Hank gets tired to taking Connor to the doctor to remove things from his stomach. Unfortunately the appeal of colorful and aromatic items are too much for Connor to resist.*Can be read as a stand alone





	1. Potpourri

**Author's Note:**

> Things to Know: Connor has a goldfish named Judo. Nines has a chinchilla named Mr. Bubbles. Sumo is the best boy. Androids can eat and smell.

The first time it Connor wound up in the hospital, Hank should've known the kid wasn’t going to stop. It had started with a soft hacking noise that Hank associated with Sumo whenever the big lug ate something he wasn’t supposed it.

“Connor,” Hank asked, “Is everything okay?”

The android looked up from his terminal with big innocent eyes; a very Sumo thing to do. “I’m alright Lieutenant, why do you ask?”

Hank leaned back a little in his chair. If Connor wanted to play that game then so could he. “Well it’s just that you keep making these noises.”

Connor cocked his head, “I apologize if I am being too noisy. I promise I will keep it down.”

“No, kid that’s not what I mean. I mean, it just sounds like there’s something stuck in your throat.”

“Lieutenant, I assure you that there is nothing stuck in my throat.” Unfortunately, Gavin and Nines happened to be walking by just having come from their crime scene.

“Something stuck in your throat?” Gavin snorted, “Did you suck too many dicks and now you got-”

“REED!” Hank snapped just as Nines slapped his hand over his partner’s mouth.

Connor seemed irritated, “Seminal fluid is not what I have stuck in my throat nor have I ever sucked on said genitalia.”

“But you do have something stuck,” Hank jumped on the opportunity.

“No, I do not.”

“Actually-” Nines spoke finally releasing his hold on Gavin, “I am detecting-”

Connor’s LED flared red and there was a sharp glare thrown in Nines’ direction.

“Nothing,” Nines blurted out, “I am detecting nothing. Come on, Detective Reed. Let us go back to work.”

Hank gawked. He knew that Connor had some weird ability to make Nines do (or not do) a lot of things and he always chalked it up to a big brother thing. But this, this felt new. “What did you tell him?”

Connor once again looked at Hank, “I didn’t say anything.”

“Sure you didn’t,” Hank grumbled and went back to working. He did however keep a close eye on Connor. But, true to his word, Connor stopped making the hacking noises.

 

The day seemed to be progressing well until the last hour of work when Connor made a louder hacking noise akin to throwing up. It would just be a startling noise except for the fact that there was a plume of black smoke coming from Connor’s mouth.

“Holy fuck!” Hank screamed and Connor was on the floor overheating.

Nines jumped up and darted over, “I’ve called an ambulance!”

Gavin had run into the break room and returned with lighting fast speed carrying two cups full of ice. He passed one to Nines who pried Connor’s mouth open. The ice hit with a sizzle and melted almost immediately. The ambulance arrived moments later and Connor was wheeled away.

 

\---

 

Hank, Nines, and Gavin sat in the hospital’s waiting room. So far they’d heard no news from Tina’s wife who happened to be the doctor attending to Connor. It had been a solid hour and Hank was on the verge of completely freaking out. He couldn’t stop thinking about Cole and the agonizing hours he’d waited to know if his baby had made it.

“Nines,” Hank’s voice was stern, “What did Connor tell you earlier?” Upon request, the RK900’s LED flashed bright red. “You’re not going to get into trouble, son. I’m not going to be mad.”

Nines remained silent but Hank could tell that the android was deeply unsettled. “I-” he hesitated and then, “I don’t think I should say.”

Hank sat next to Nines seeing how the android avoided his eyes. “Look, I get it. You want to be loyal to your big brother but his life is currently in danger. This supersedes any-”

“Connor ate the stuff in the bathroom.” Nines’ eyes were shut as if he were waiting for Hank to punish him.

The answer wasn’t exactly what Hank was expecting. Even Gavin’s eyebrows shot up in confusion and curiosity. “Nines, what do you mean he ate the stuff in the bathroom?”

Nines swallowed and replied softly, “The nice smelling bowl of crunchy flowers and spices on top of the toilet.”

“The… are you telling me that Connor  _ ate the bowl potpourri? _ ” Hank asked incredulously.

Nines nodded and Hank groaned. He stood up. “Nines, you can open your eyes you’re not in trouble. Gavin, watch him. I have a doctor to talk to.”


	2. Mr. Bubbles' Rainbow Bedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nines picked out some colorful bedding for his chinchilla. Connor finds it appetizing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo! Happy Wednesday (or whatever day it is that you're reading this)! There won't be another update until next Wednesday because I will be out of town.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Chapter warnings: vomiting

“This one,” Nines simply said and picked up a batch of rainbow colored bedding for his chinchilla.

“You sure?” Hank asked sparing a glance at Connor in the fish section.

Nines nodded. “Mr. Bubbles deserves it.”

Hank smiled and patted his son’s back. “Alright, rainbow bedding it is.” He called out to his other son, “Connor, let’s go. You’re not getting another fish.”

Connor trotted over with a small pout and Hank sighed. “You know the rules. If you get another fish Nines gets another chinchilla and I am not about to turn the house in to a fucking petting zoo. Besides, Sumo doesn’t need another reason to bark at three in the morning.”

Nines smirked and tucked the bedding under his arm. They all knew the real reason Connor wasn’t allowed to get another fish. It was his punishment for eating the potpourri. “Hank,” Nines wondered just how far he could push this, “Can I get Mr. Bubbles-”

“Next time kiddo,” Hank cut him off sensing what the android was going for. The Lieutenant wasn’t an idiot and could sense when Connor and Nines were in a rivalry. Never work related, they were too professional for that. But at home, all bets were off. The two competed on just about everything from who could cook box macaroni better to who got to choose what color socks Hank was wearing that day. Although, Hank had taken to wearing one sock each so it didn’t work as often. What they didn’t argue on were the extended members of their family; Sumo, Judo, and Mr. Bubbles.

As Hank paid for the rainbow bedding, he wondered if this was sufficient enough to show Connor that his behavior was wrong. He almost couldn’t believe that he was thinking of things like this. For all Hank knew this wasn’t going to be just a one time thing. Unless it was, and then he was wasting time and energy worrying about it. But of course Hank was going to worry.

 

As Hank was cooking dinner, he realized he should’ve seen one more thing coming. Nines was going to be a little shit about it. Since Connor’s incident the previous week, the android has been slightly snarkier than normal and often made small jabs at the other. Already knowing the issue was Nines’ tendency to become jealous whenever more attention was focused on Connor, Hank had put in the extra effort to make sure Nines still got his father-son time. It was… kind of working.

“When I get another chinchilla,” Nines announced as he changed Mr. Bubbles’ bedding, “I’m going to name him Foam.”

“ _ When?”  _ Connor challenged and Hank groaned from the kitchen.

“Yes  _ when, _ ” Nines replied back. He reached up and petted Mr. Bubbles who was happily perched on the RK900’s head. “I calculate an 87% chance that you’re going to eat something inedible again.”

“I calculate a 100% chance that you’re going to be an asshole for the rest of your life,” Connor snapped back.

“BOYS!” Hank yelled out and stomped into the living room. No way in hell was he going to tolerate arguing when he could easily nip it in the bud. “Both of you need to cut this shit out. I don’t want to hear another jab out of your mouths again, okay?”

Silence befell the pair and there were quicks nods of agreement. For the rest of that night things went civilly and neither RK made a jab at the other. Well, until around 2am anyway.

Hank was awoken by hushed whispers that were louder than what either android meant. He grumbled and got out of bed expecting to stop into their shared bedroom and yell at them for being too loud at the ungodly hours of the morning.

As Hank swung open his bedroom door the hushed whispers stopped and the light in the bathroom flicked off. He suppressed a groan. “Cyberlife’s most advanced androids my fucking ass,” He muttered under his breath. “I know you’re in the fucking bathroom, get out of there and go to fucking bed.”

For a moment everything was silent and Hank knew they were still trying to pretend like they were actually in their bedroom fast asleep. “I don’t want to have to come in there.” It did the trick because the hushed whispers resumed and the bathroom light flickered on. The door creaked open and Nines- just Nines- stepped out.

Hank crossed his arms. “Where. Is. Your. Brother.”

“Asleep.”

“Really?” Hank was giving Nines his bed Dad stare causing the android to shrink and look away. His LED was too blue and Hank knew he was hacking it so it wouldn’t betray his feelings. “Is that the truth?”

Nines nodded quickly. “Yes.”

“So you were talking to yourself just now?”

“Yes.”

Hank sighed. “Right.” He pushed past Nines or tried to at least because the android quickly stepped in front of him.

“Nines Anderson you better tell me what the fuck is going on right now.” The android remained silent. A loud boof from Sumo came from inside the bathroom. Then, there was a scratch at the door followed by Sumo barreling his way out of the bathroom revealing Connor.

“Traitor!” Nines accused Sumo who only boofed and jumped into the RK900’s arms.

Hank, now able to properly push past Nines, did so and found Connor kneeling over the toilet with his fingers down his throat and blue blood dripping from the corners of his mouth and down his throat.

“WHAT THE FUCK!” Hank exploded and darted to Connor’s side.

“I’m fine! I’m fine!” Connor argued as Hank grabbed his wrists pulling them from his mouth.

“Get in the car,” Hank ordered. His heart was pounding too fast and his head was racing with all sorts of shit that could be happening. “Get in the fucking car. Nines you’re staying here.”

“No, Dad, I’m fi-” Connor tried to say but instead his head turned to the toilet and he vomited up more blood and his dinner into the toilet.

 

Hank spotted Doctor Amari who stepped out into the waiting room. “Hey Doc,” He greeted trying to appear as casual as possible.

Amari didn’t seem to be amused. “I cannot believe we’re doing this again.”

“Yeah,” Hank replied sarcastically, “Neither can I. Can you tell me what the fuck happened?”

Amari sighed heavily. “The bedding expanded in his stomach as it absorbed all the food and liquid from dinner. And because stomachs, even android ones, aren’t meant to hold an infinite amount, he threw it all up, while also tearing a small hole in his proverbial stomach lining.”

“Is he going to be alright?”

“Of course,” Amari replied, “The lining was stitched back together and he’ll make a full recovery within the next few hours.”

Hank sighed, “Fuck I’m a terrible parent.”

“You’re not a terrible parent, Hank. This is natural, albeit a little odd considering their supposed ages, for Connor to want to place things in his mouth. Think of it like teething.”

“He’s not a toddler,” Hank pushed back.

“No, he’s not,” Amari acknowledged, “but there isn’t much knowledge about android development. Just roll with it, Hank. I’m sure this won’t last forever. Eventually, he’s going to be satisfied with his current oral fixation.”

Hank groaned, “I fucking hope so.”

Amari grinned and slapped him on the back, “Brace yourself because you are in for the long haul on this one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am well aware that this isn't what happens to pet bedding. Don't @ me for it, it's just fiction.


	3. Kibbles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor decided that dog food did not have any right to sound as crunchy as it did in Sumo’s mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo! I'm back from traveling and I am delighted to be back! Have the update that I promised :D 
> 
> No chapter warnings apply.

Connor decided that dog food did not have any right to sound as crunchy as it did in Sumo’s mouth. Frankly, it was borderline offensive to listen to Sumo happily munch his way through the bag like he was recording ASMR. Why didn’t humans have anything that delightfully crunchy sounding? Chips and granola didn’t count because it didn’t have the same kind of mouth feel Connor was sure that Sumo’s food had.

Frustrated, Connor glared at the food bowl. He was determined not to put anything more into his mouth. Not after  _ the talk.  _ The talk being the horrifically embarrassing moment in which Hank and Amari sat him down to discuss his recent behavior. Connor felt like a child and did not appreciate being treated as such. He was Cyberlife’s most advanced android. He worked for the police department and could analyze evidence in milliseconds. He could absolutely refrain from putting dog food in his mouth.

Sumo scarfed down the last of his food and huffed into the bowl with disappointment when more food didn’t magically appear. He swung his massive face towards Connor expecting the android to provide him with more.

“Sumo I can’t,” Connor was firm in his statement, “You’re already too big and you’re not supposed to be eating more than your recommended diet.” He gave a stern look at the Saint Bernard who boofed and did a run-and-jump onto Connor’s lap. If he couldn’t get more food, he was certainly going to get cuddles.

 

Hank decided that being patient with Connor was the easy part. Being patient with Nines… not so much. Because of Connor’s tendency to eat things (due to Amari’s theory of android development) and therefore taking up a lot of Hank’s attention was creating a rift between Hank and Nines. The RK900 was already insecure about his place in the Anderson household and was a constant bundle of anxiety. Hank was determined to go the extra mile and show Nines that he was still very much loved and still had Hank’s attention.

So today was an impromptu father and son day. Hank and Nines were going out to find Nines some new clothing and just have an overall nice day. There was going to be no mention of Connor and his current situation and-

“Am I abnormal?” Nines asked Hank interrupting the man’s current train of thought.

“No, of course not,” Hank assured, “What makes you say that?”

Nines shrugged and put the pair of fuzzy sock back on the shelf. “Because I don’t act like Connor.” Hank noted the hint of sadness in his voice and the disappointment in his eyes as he relinquished the socks.

“You’re different people, of course you don’t act the same.” Hank nodded towards the socks, “You know if you like them you can get them.”

“I know,” Nines mumbled, “But I don’t like them.”

The statement confused Hank. If he didn’t like them, then why did he look so heartbroken to put them back on the shelf. Luckily, Hank didn’t have to wonder for very long because Nines answered his unspoken question with an even more heartbreaking answer.

“If I was like Connor then everybody would like me too.”

“Woah, hey,” Hank abandoned their shipping mission and grabbed Nines by the arm. He led him towards the food courts and sat him down. “Nines, there is nothing wrong with the way that you are. People like you, not just Connor.”

“I know that,” Nines replied with a frown, “But they all like Connor better. They all laugh when he talks and when they invite him to lunch I’m invited as an afterthought. The only people who really likes me is Gavin.”

_ “Gavin?”  _ Hank’s Dad alert flared at the sudden use of Gavin’s first name rather than ‘Detective Reed’. But that was an issue for another time.

“People like Connor because he’s…” Nines searched for the right word, “endearing. He’s soft and wasn’t designed to be intimidating.” The android looked down towards the floor and mumbled a soft, “like me.”

Hank reached out and cupped his son’s face. “You are perfect just the way you are. I know that it seems like everyone like Connor more but that isn’t true. Everyone has their own way of expressing friendship. I can guarantee that everyone cares about you just as much as they care about Connor.”

Nines sighed not quite believing Hank. But he nodded and pretend like he was okay. He just didn’t understand Connor and his stupid fascination with putting shit in his mouth an eating it. At first he thought it was a genuine thing that Connor was interested in but ever since then, the topic had been brought up on numerous occasions.

People had laughed when Connor explained why he wanted to eat such items and then later on when Tina had blurted out that the RK800 was going through “android puberty” the others had simply awww’d and encouraged Connor to explore his new feelings. 

Nines was one hundred percent certain that Connor was a little bitch and was faking it just for the attention. But calling his brother out on such behavior could backfire especially if there was that .0000001% chance that he wasn’t faking.

“Can we go home now?” Nines asked.

“Don’t you want to finish shopping?” Hank suggested. Nines shook his head knowing that Hank was doing his best. He did love his Dad for it but he was too grumpy now to continue their outing. “Okay,” Hank conceded, “another time then.”

 

Hank opened the door to find Connor huddled on the couch with Sumo and the latest reboot of Star Trek on TV. All would have seemed normal except for the sudden shuffle and noise of something being shoved away. Behind Hank, Nines let out a short scoff and wedged himself around Hank to disappear into the bedroom.

Hank stepped forward and made his way to the couch. Connor smiled and waved at him before turning his eyes back to the TV. “Connor,” Hank asked carefully, “Were you just sitting on the couch with Sumo?”

Connor nodded.

“I need a yes or a no, kid.”

Connor hesitated and shook his head. 

Hank narrowed his eyes. “What’s in your mouth?”

“Nufthing.”

Sumo let out a loud boof and dug his snout into Connor’s hand effective spilling a handful of kibbles out onto the cushions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any on y'all ever eat pet food because why the fuck not? I did. And it was turtle food. I regret nothing.


	4. Perfume Beads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor's done it again, but with some more interesting side effects.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo, hello y'all! I hope you enjoy this chapter. And sorry it's kinda short. I meant to update this two days ago and then got distracted/forgot even though it was waiting my queue.... RIP

Nines had been getting snarkier lately. Not at work of course, he was too professional for that. But at home, Hank wanted to rip his hair out. It was non-stop arguing about petty things. For example, the other day Connor’s leg just so happened to be two centimeters into Nines’ self proclaimed “personal bubble”. And before that, Nines threw out his favorite sweater because it looked too much like his brother’s. Nines even took to trying to style his hair a different way. And by different that meant making sure his little hair wisp stayed gelled back.

No matter what Hank did, there was no way for him to get Nines and Connor to get along. He couldn’t even get them to share their room anymore because of how irritable Nines had become. It got to the point where Gavin,  _ fucking Gavin,  _ offered his place for the android to stay until it all blew over. Of course, Hank was inclined to say no because of his suspicion that Gavin had an ulterior motive. But, at this point he was a desperate man and agreed to it.

“Wow,” Fowler noticed Hank slouching at his desk, “I have never seen you come in on your day off. Hell, I’ve never seen you come in when you’re supposed it. Is the world ending?”

“Ha fucking ha,” Hank grumbled.

Fowler sat on the edge of Hank’s desk. “What’s going on?”

“I’m bad fucking father is what’s going on.”

“That’s not true.”

“Really?” Hank bit back, “my first kid fucking died, one can’t keep his mouth shut, and the other can’t stand to be in the same house as him.”

Fowler snorted and pointed at Gavin’s desk, “my kid can’t keep his mouth shut to save his own damn life,” the pointed to Tina’s desk, “that one can’t will go along with anything the other moron says,” he pointed at Hank, “and this one is just a fucking idiot who never sees what’s right in front of him.” Fowler stood, “I know you love those boys and being a dad is hard. But that’s all a part of being a parent. You’re not a terrible father, you’re doing your best and sometimes it’s okay to get lost in it all.”

 

\----

 

Connor knew he had a problem with things that smelled nice. And currently his problem was causing Amari to laugh he ass off in the most unprofessional manner.

“Please stop laughing, I didn’t know this would happen,” Connor struggled to say. But instead it came out sounding slurred and uncoordinated.

Amari gasped trying to control herself. She gasped and forced a cough to ease her laughter. “Sorry, Connor. You’re right, this is not a laughing matter. Now, can you tell me just how many you ate?”

“Uhhhhh,” Connor squeezed his eyes shut trying to recall the pretty smelling baubles that called to him, “I think a lot.”

“Okay,” Amari’s voice soothed over the phone, “how much is a lot? Did you take a handful or more?”

“I think a hand,” Connor hiccuped causing a fume of sweet smelling mist to expel from his mouth. “Hhhhaaaannnnd. Yes.”

A loud creaking of the front door opening caused Connor to swing his head around. His head spun with an unfamiliar dizzying sensation and he thumped against the wall.

“Connor?” Amari’s voice called out, “What was that?”

“Shhhhhh!” Connor hissed, “Dad’s home! Be quiet!” He probably meant to say that a lot quieter but Hank had already heard him and soon his footsteps were getting louder.

“If I can’t see him, he can’t see me,” Connor whispered.

“That’s not how that works,” Amari put in.

“Shh!”

“Connor?” Hank knocked on the bathroom door, “Connor I know you’re in there.”

“No he’s not,” Connor answered mimicking Nines’ voice, “I’m Nines.”

There was a sigh from the other side of the door, “I know you’re not Nines, Connor. Open the door.”

“No.”

Hank sighed heavily, “Connor Anderson open this door right now.”

There was a long pause and then, “promise you won’t be mad.”

Hank felt another wrinkle grow in his face. Of course that answer meant that Connor had once again eaten something he wasn’t supposed to. “I won’t be mad. Just open the door.”

“Okay.”

The door creaked open and Hank was assaulted by the smell of perfume. “What in the fuck is that smell?” He covered his nose with his sleeve.

“Nothing,” Connor lied with a hiccup. He tried to take a step forward but his balance was off and he slumped against Hank.

“Son, are you slurring? Are you alright? Hang on, I’m going to call Amari.”

“I’m already on the line Hank,” Amari’s voice called out. Hank spotted Connor’s phone in the bathroom sink. Keeping one hand on Connor, he grabbed the phone. He was at least glad that Connor had the good sense to call Tina’s wife.

“Amari, what the hell is going on? What’s happened?”

Amari sighed, “he ate some perfume beads and I guess whatever was in them was enough to dilute his thirium levels causing slurred speech and lack of coordination.”

“Meaning-?” Hank asked, “Do I need to bring him in? Flush out his system?”

“It means he’s drunk, Hank.”

Hank blinked and stared at Connor who was currently waving his hand in front of his face. It was like watching a video buffer. “He’s drunk?”

“Yup. I’d suggest getting him to drink real thirium and tucking his ass into bed. Sleep it off. I don’t know if he’ll have a hangover but I guess we’re going to find out.”

“For his sake, I hope he does,” Hank grumbled, “never do that shit again. Thanks Amari.” He hung up and stuffed Connor’s phone into his pocket.

“Alright, son let’s get you sober.”

“Okay,” Connor smiled. His LED spun yellow and he slipped into stasis right then and there causing both of them to fall to the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this was how android alcohol was invented :D
> 
> Coming up next chapter: the fucking tide pod


	5. The Dreaded Tide Pod

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hank tries to be a peacemaker and Gavin makes a grave mistake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here it is y'all. The fucking tide pod. Enjoy!

“Hey tin can,” Gavin intercepted Connor in the break room while the android was making coffee for Hank.

“Oh, hello Detective,” Connor smiled sweetly and found the box of sugar cubes in the cabinet. “Is there something you need?”

Gavin shook his head, “Nah. I heard about your whole eating forbidden foods thing. You know that was a meme when I was a kid?”

“Currently no such memes exist,” Connor answered.

“No, I said when I was kid.” 

Connor looked at Gavin with a twinkle in his eyes and small shit eating grin. “I’m aware.”

“You fucking little shit,” Gavin growled finally picking up on the insult. “I was gonna fucking tell you about that tide pod bullshit but fucking whatever.” He stormed off leaving Connor to look up the tide pod challenge.

 

\----

 

Nines sat at the dinner table scowling at Connor sitting across from him. He wanted to make peace with Connor but starting at his brother’s fucking face was making it hard. After spending a week at Gavin’s house (sinfully not doing anything to the point of frustration) Hank put his foot down and ordered Nines to come home.

Hank was doing his best to be the mediator between his boys but neither one was making it easy. “Okay,” he began trying out methods he learned from the internet, “we are going to just talk and listen. No interrupting and no yelling. Understand?”

Nines was the first to nod and then Connor.

“Good.” Hank turned to Nines. “Son, you get to start.”

“What am I supposed to say?” Nines grumbled.

“Whatever you want to say,” Hank encouraged, “we are going to do this peacefully.”

Nines sighed and looked at Connor. “I don’t get why you have to eat shi-”

“Language,” Hank warned.

“-inedible things for attention.”

Connor ‘s eyes darkened, “I’m not doing it for attention.”

“Then why because it’s dum- not a smart thing to do.” Nines grit his teeth. It was taking very bit of willpower not to snap or lash out at Connor.

“Because it’s-” Connor let out a frustrated growl, “I can’t help it okay! It’s just- It’s  _ appealing. _ ”

“Appealing!?” Nines’ voice raised a few decibels.

Hank stepped in hoping to nip conflict in the bud, “Volume.”

Nines grunted, “There is no appeal to eating things you’re not supposed to eat.”

“Gavin,” Connor brought up, “said it was called forbidden foods.”

At the mention of Gavin, Nines stood up nearly throwing his chair back and stormed off to his room. “Nines? Nines!” Hank yelled after him but the android wasn’t listening.

Nines was fucking furious. Of course Connor was stealing attention from the only person he had feelings for. The kind that he’d only ever seen in those stupid romantic movies that Hank sometimes liked to watch. Anger bubbled and simmered inside Nines. How fucking dare Connor take that from him. Wasn’t it enough that he was already the sibling everyone liked better?

 

\----

 

Nines shifted on the couch. He wished that Hank had let him go back to Gavin’s house. Not that he actually wanted to stay with Gavin that night. He was still pissed that Connor had the audacity to steal his- his partner’s affections.

“Fuck,” Nines grumbled and tried to find a more suitable spot on the couch. He wished he was in a bed. Logically, he decided he could stay in his own bed, sleep for awhile, wake up before anyone did, transfer back to the couch, and no one would be the wiser. Perfect.

Nines got up from the couch and silently padded his way to the bedroom.

 

“DAD!”

Hank was awoken by Nines’ frantic scream. He jolted up and bolted as fast as he could towards his boys’ room. 

“What?” He yelled in a panic, “What’s happening?”

“I don’t know!” Nines was kneeling next to Connor who was seizing on the bed with white foam spewing ungodly amounts from his mouth. Nines was trying to keep Connor from flopping everywhere but to no avail.

Hank was already running into his room calling for an ambulance. He bolted back to Connor and Nines’s room. “Please,” he urged the 911 operator, “He’s having a seizure and there’s white foam coming out of his mouth.”

“I don’t know what to do!” Nines wailed.

Hank hung up with emergency services and knelt by Nines. “Help me turn him on his side,” Hank instructed. He at least needed to keep a level head. If he panicked, then things could take a turn for the worst.

The ambulance came and took Connor away in a matter of minutes. As soon as Hank was sure that Connor was in better hands he ran back into the house and grabbed his car keys. “Nines, let’s go!” Nines didn’t waste any time and hopped into the car with Hank.

 

\----

 

“Dad,” Nines interrupted Hank’s worried thoughts, “Detective Reed thinks he knows what happened.”

Hank looked at his son, “Did you text him?”

Nines swallowed, “Yes.”

“Just perfect,” Hank groaned, “That’s just what I need.” He spun around to see Gavin running towards them. Without a single hesitation, Hank’s arm swung back and punched the detective.

“FUCK!” Gavin screamed falling on his ass. “YOU DICK!”

“FUCK YOU!” Hank screamed back.

“DAD! GAVIN! STOP!” Nines exploded in a way that neither had ever heard before. Both fell silent and Nines continued. “Gavin said he knows something and if you knock him out then he can’t say anything.”

Hank growled and glared at Gavin. “Talk.”

“Fine,” Gavin snapped, “I think he ate a fucking tide pod.”

“What in the fuck you fucking shit head! You fucking told him to eat fucking tide pod!?”

“Fucking hell!” Gavin exploded, “I was going to fucking warn him not encourage him! You think I approve of this shit? Not everything is my fucking fault you know!”

“Oh really?” Hank challenged back, “Telling Connor about fucking tide pods isn’t your fucking fault? You asshole, I bet you fucking did it when you were a fucking kid!”

“Yeah!” Gavin snapped back, “And I ended up in the fucking hospital! Why the fuck do you think I was going to tell the fucking toaster!?”

“I don’t fucking know!” Hank screamed. At this point, they both knew that there was no need for yelling and screaming but at the same time they were both also too worked up to actually care. That is, until Doctor Amari walked in.

“Would you two shut the fuck up?” She growled soft enough for only the two of them to hear, “You are in a hospital.”

“What’s the verdict, doc?” Gavin asked. Hank punched Gavin then and sent him sprawling to the floor; properly knocked out.

Nines was on the floor next to Gavin in a split second. “Dad!”

“He’ll be fucking fine. Amari-”

Amari put a hand on Hank’s shoulder. “He’ll be fine. We cleared out his systems, flushed his thirium and replaced it with a new supply. Luckily, Gavin texted Tina who told me and we were able to save him. Honestly, I had no idea laundry detergent would cause such catastrophic damage. On humans, yes, but androids no.”

Hank couldn’t resist hugging the doctor, “Can we see him? How long until he wakes up?”

“You can see him in about an hour,” Amari smiled, “and uh I think Connor’s learned his lesson this time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming up next chapter: the plus one and some angst


	6. +1 Cotton Candy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hank takes everyone to the county fair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello! Have a chapter with a smidge of angst. Enjoy!
> 
> Chapter warnings: eating disorders

Hank was certain that something was off about Connor since the tide pod incident. It had been a month since the kid put anything in his mouth. Quite literally anything. Nothing inedible, nothing edible, and no evidence. At all.

While Hank was extremely worried, things between Connor and Nines had improved. Nines no longer lived in other places and was no longer mad about every little thing Connor did. The boys were actually sharing their room again. Things at work had also gone back to normal. No one talked about Connor wanting to eat random things and no one teased him for it.

Connor smiled and acted like he was okay but no one saw him the way that Hank did. At crime scenes, Connor was more than happy to let Nines take over the evidence analysis. He volunteered to talk to witnesses and chase leads as long as it meant he didn’t have to put anything in his mouth.

At first, Hank simply thought that Connor had learned his lesson and would go back to eating normal foods like he did before. But that wasn’t the case. Connor avoided food like it was the plague. He even went so far as to pretend like he’d eaten somewhere else. Before all of this, Hank would’ve thought that androids couldn’t get eating disorders but now he knew it. Whether or not Connor wanted to admit it, something was wrong.

 

\----

 

“Hey asshole,” Hank said walking up to Gavin.

Gavin groaned and rolled his eyes, “What? Are you gonna give me the dad talk because I kissed Nines? It was like a month ago-”

Hank glared at Gavin, “You fucking  _ kissed?”  _ At least he had an explanation for why Nines was in a better mood lately. And he was not pleased about it.

“No, what the fuck are you talking about?” Gavin sputtered, “I didn’t- fucking-”

“Lieutenant, is everything alright?” Nines appeared from behind Hank.

Hank sighed and turned around to face Nines. “Is there something you want to tell me?”

“No.” Nines answered. He had that innocent look on his face that told Hank he wasn’t telling the truth. He sat in his chair still watching Hank.

Hank sighed. Now was not the time to be grilling Nines on his poor choice in love interest. He was here on a mission. “I was going to invite you to come to the county fair.”

Gavin’s eyes narrowed, “Why?”

“Can’t a guy just be nice?”

“Sure. But when it’s you, not a chance. What do you really want?”

Hank scowled. “Just come to the fucking fair asshole. I already invited Shani and Tina and they said yes.”

Gavin glanced at Nines who shrugged. “I want a new giant bear,” he said as if that explained everything.

“Ugh, fine. I’ll go.” Gavin threw his hands in the air.

Hank nodded and walked away. The county fair was obviously a rouse. Hank knew that Connor had a weakness for things that smelled nice and what a better place to do that than a fair. Sweet and brightly colored foods just might do the trick. And if not, a heart to heart conversation on a fun ride might help.

 

\----

 

Hank noticed the way Connor’s eyes followed the massive poof of pink fluffy candy. It had the makings of everything he knew Connor wanted to shove into his mouth. Brightly colored, it smelled delectable, and looked like the softest thing in the world. For a moment, Hank wondered why Connor hadn’t eaten the fluff inside his pillow or a stuffed toy.

“Con,” Hank finally addressed him, “If you want the cotton candy just ask. I’m not going to say no.”

Connor swallowed and averted his eyes ashamed at having been caught staring. “No, I’m- I’m good. I don’t want it.”

“You sure about that?” Hank pushed, “because I see the way you’re looking.”

Once again Connor shook his head. “I don’t- I don’t want it.”

Hank sighed. This was beyond frustrating. The one fucking time Connor actually wanted to eat something edible and he was refusing. 

“Nines,” Hank turned to his other son, “Are you interest- where the fuck?” Nines had promptly disappeared and Hank groaned already pulling out his phone. Sure enough, there was a text message from Nines telling him that he’d spotted Gavin, Tina, and Amari in the crowd and had gone to catch up with them. An image followed a second later with Tina’s face taking up most of the photo with Nines, Gavin, and her wife in the background.

“You’re allowed to want the cotton candy,” Hank tried again.

Connor shook his head and continued to refuse.

“What’s this really about?”

“It’s not about anything,” Connor lied.

Hank pulled Connor aside and out of the way of other people. He found a bench and sat them down. “Son, please talk to me.”

The android was silent for a while and finally mumbled out, “I can’t. It’s stupid.”

“This is more than just you getting in trouble for eating all the other things isn’t it?” Connor shook his head and his LED spin to red and wouldn’t go away.

“I don’t want to get in trouble again.” It was a weaker, slightly truer answer.

“That hasn’t stopped you before,” Hank pointed out and Connor flinched. Hank reached out and held his son’s hands. “You love trying new foods, hell non-foods lately, and it always made you smile. And I know you don’t have to but you’re not eating and you won’t even put evidence in your mouth. What’s going on, Con? What’s changed?”

“I don’t want to die.”

Hank was not expecting that answer. “What makes you think that you’re going to die?”

Connor hesitated, “Well.... that tide pod that I ate it… I was on the verge of a shutdown and…” his eyes were beginning to get teary and he looked down into his lap. “I don’t want to die. So if I never put anything into my mouth ever again, then I won’t.”

“Oh, son.” Hank put his arms around Connor and hugged him tightly. “Listen, eating the tide pod wasn’t your brightest moment and yes, it was the scariest fucking thing in the world to almost lose you. But you should let your fear control you. You are in control and you decide what goes in that mouth of yours. You just need to be more careful.” Then, as an afterthought, “Maybe stick to edible things. You can do that, can’t you?”

Connor nodded and pulled away from Hank. He rubbed his eyes and gave his father his biggest puppy dog look. “Can I have the cotton candy?”

Hank laughed. “Yeah, kid you can. Come on. Let’s go find that fucker.”

 

\----

 

Amari sighed rubbing Tina’s back as she vomited into a nearby trash can. Next to them, Gavin was sitting on the bench with his head between his legs and Nines patting his back with the most stoic expression.

“I fucking told you that was a bad fucking idea you little shits,” Amari groaned, “Even the ten years olds on that ride could handle it better than you could. And Nines even said- what did you say?”

Nines slapped Gavin’s back a little harder than he should have, “I said there was an 85% chance of the both of you getting sick. Eating an exorbitant amount of hot dogs and lemonade-”

“It was an eating competition-” Gavin argued.

“-Which you didn’t win,” Nines reminded, “followed by spinning teacups thus disrupting the contents of your already full stomachs-”

“We get the fucking point, asshole!” Gavin snapped.

“Oh good,” Nines answered flatly sharing a smug look with Amari, “Then perhaps you will have learned from your lesson.”

“Ah, Hank, Connor,” Amari smiled and politely and waved at the approaching pair.

Connor beamed shoving sticky pink fluff into his mouth.  “Hello Shani,” he greeted. He offered her part of his cotton candy which Amari politely declined.

“What happened to them?” Hank asked.

“They ate too many hot dogs and rode the teacups,” Amari explained as Tina groaned and collapsed onto the bench next to Gavin.

“Sorry to hear that-” Connor started but Nines cut him off.

“Don’t be. I told them the risks and they did it anyway.”

Nines eyed Connor’s cotton candy. As much as Connor’s eating habits irritated him, he had begin to grow concerned for his brother when he stopped eating. And now, seeing him with a mass of candy fluff sent relief soothing through him. 

Connor must’ve sensed his change in mood and misinterpreted it as something else because he held out the fluff to Nines. “Try it.”

“No thank you.” Nines answered and turned away to try and pay attention to whatever Gavin, Tina, Hank, and Amari were talking about.

“We should go,” Hank said. Agreements went all around and the four began to leave. Just as Nines was about to follow he felt Connor grabbing his hand and pressing a bit of cotton candy into it. The android was about to protest and hand it back, but Connor was already skipping ahead to join the others.

No one noticed as Nines popped the cotton candy into his mouth opening a whole new avenue of things that he wanted to try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stick around for the bonus chapter! I.e., it's Nines' turn


	7. Bonus! Nines Gets It Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nines might understand the appeal now. Connor is a little shit about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this is a fun little bonus chapter for y'all! Enjoy :D

Gavin would be lying if he said he didn’t notice anything off about Nines. In fact, it seemed like the RK900 was moving slower than normal. Like there was a lag in his systems. Quite honestly, if Nines were a human, Gavin would think that he was either drunk or high. But Nines could do neither, well scratch that. Gavin had heard a rumor that some new kind of android alcohol was in the works but he doubted Nines would be interested in such things.

Gavin spared another glance at his partner who was just starting at the crime scene. But not in the way he normally analyzed things. He was just… staring into space. Something was wrong and maybe it was a malfunction or whatever. Maybe Nines just needed to run a quick diagnostics and he’d be fine. Gavin just hoped that whatever it was, Nines was well enough to analyze the crime scene and get them another tick on the solved cases pile.

His android’s LED spun a sluggish yellow and he wobbled in place.

“Woah,” Gavin grabbed Nines, “What the fuck, are you okay?”

Nines weakly and unsuccessfully pushed Gavin away from him. “I- I’m fine.”

“No,” Gavin argued back, “You’re clearly not fucking fine.”

“Yes,” Nines slurred and his LED flickered bright red, “s-sokay, m’ fine.” As soon as the last word left his mouth, Nines’ leg buckled under his weight.

“FUCK!” Gavin screamed and caught Nines gently bring him to the floor. “HEY! Someone call a fucking ambulance!”

Chris happened to be nearby and he was on the radio in less than a second calling for help.

“Hey,” Gavin leaned over Nines, “Hey, Nines, can you hear me? It’s Gavin- OH FUCK!”

Blue sludge began pouring from the android’s mouth and Gavin swore there was steam coming from it.

“Fucking hell!” He shrieked and yanked his jacket off stuffing it under Nine’s head. He actually had no idea what the fuck he was doing and had never had to deal with a situation like this before; human or android. And seeing his  _ partner _ sent his brain into a frenzy. Watching Nines spew smoke with his eyes rolled back into his head was just about the worst image in the whole fucking fucked up world.

“Sir,” a paramedic grabbed Gavin’s shoulder and firmly pushing him away from Nines, “please step back.”

Gavin obeyed and stumbled backwards as if he’d been hit with a baseball bat. He was at a loss for movement and could only stare while Nines was stabilized and loaded onto a gurney. He was going to be okay. Right?

Without thinking, Gavin fished his phone into his pocket and pulled out his phone. Fuck, what in the hell was he going to tell Hank?

 

Hank glared at his phone as Gavin’s name popped up interrupting his game. “Gavin, what the fuck do you want? Because I swear if you are calling just to-”

“Nines in in the hospital,” Gavin blurted out cutting off Hank.

“WHAT!?” Hank exploded disturbing the whole precinct, “What the fuck do you mean he’s in the fucking hospital!?”

Connor’s head popped up from his desk looking at Hank with worry. Even Fowler had heard the outburst from his office and poked his head out.

“I don’t know, he just fucking passed out at the crime scene! There’s like blue shit coming out of his mouth! I’m on my way to the hospital now.”

“Fuck, we’ll meet you there.” Hank hung up and motioned fro Connor who scrambled out of his seat.

“Keep me updated!” Fowler yelled despite not knowing what the issue was, he had a pretty damn good instinct that whatever it was, it had to do with Nines.

 

\---

 

Earlier that day… Nines was staring at the child in the waiting room with Tina. More specifically, he was staring at the blue slime said child was playing with. It seemed so… pliant and the way it reflected light reminded Nines of the stupid hard candies at the reception desk.

“Detective?” The voice of Angela Harper, the CPS agent he was waiting for interrupted Nines’ train of thought.

“Ms. Harper,” Nines greeted, “Toby is waiting for you with Officer Chen.” He opened the door for her and they walked in.

“Hey Toby,” Angela greeted, “You ready to go kiddo?” Toby nodded and went to grab Angela’s hand.

“Let me walk you out,” Tina offered, “Besides there’s a couple forms you need to sign first.”

“Of course, lead the way,” Angela agreed and the trio left.

Nines was about to follow but found himself inexplicably drawn to the pile of blue slime on the table.  _ “I might as well clean it up,”  _ he reasoned.

The RK900 picked up the slime and was ready to slide it back in the jar but he stopped. The slime itself was warm from the child’s hands and it was forming a pool in his hands. He could feel the analyzers in his mouth beginning to secrete fluid.

Nines took a quick peek around to see if he was alone. He was. Without thinking Nines popped the whole lump of slime in his mouth. It was… oddly satisfying. He liked the way it filled his mouth and formed to the shape of his throat. And then, it was gone.

Realizing what he had just done, Nines gathered himself and exited the room hoping no one would notice the missing slime.

 

\---

 

Hank was staring at Amari with an expression that clearly meant “you have got to be fucking kidding me”. He gave a look of disbelief to his son sitting in the hospital bed clutching a cup of thirium and then back at Amari.

Amari shrugged, “I did say it was unpredictable.” She patted Hank on the shoulder. “You have my number.” She walked out of the room.

Hank looked back at Nines. He took a deep breath to steady himself. He had thought that Connor would be a one time thing and that Nines would have more logical sense than to repeat his brother’s mistakes. Clearly, he was wrong. Damn it.

Connor stared at Nines’ humiliated expression and bright blue cheeks. He smirked, “Don’t understand the appeal, huh?”

“Shut the fuck up, Eights.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus concludes the fic! I hope y'all enjoyed that as much as I enjoyed writing this. In case you're wondering there will be a sequel to this fic with Nines enjoyed the Forbidden Foods :D
> 
> I have queue of DBH fics waiting to be posted, I'm juts buying some time to properly write the sequel to this fic. So stay tuned for those and as soon as the Nines fic is done, y'all'll find it in this series.
> 
> If there's anything y'all want me to write leave me a comment or shoot me a message on tumblr @fandombarf

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
